Week 10 Readings

Marriage, Money, and Sex

            Kecia Ali talks about Muslim marriages in Islamic countries versus in America. In the Islamic countries the man has all the sexual power after the first consummation and the woman gets a dowry. The dowry helps her expenses after the three month period that her husband is lawfully mandated to take care of her after a divorce. The dowry used to be put in place so that the woman’s family would get compensated for giving the woman away and losing a member of their tribe. The changing times have changed this into money that is given directly to the wife so that she can take care of herself. Divorce laws reflect how important the dower is by not allowing the woman to easily get a divorce. The idea is that a woman could simply marry a man, consummate the marriage and then get a divorce to collect her dower. She talks about how Muslims in America do not follow these marriage laws because they follow the civil laws of the country instead. American courts do not enforce dower rules, so marriage and divorce is much different for them. 

            The dower is seen in a negative light is a “vulva price.” The dower is money paid to the woman for exclusive rights to her sexuality and her reproduction. I believe this ties in with Juliet William’s piece because the theme of exchange of money for sexual needs comes up again. 

            The man has an obligation to not only make sex pleasurable for him, but for his wife also. This is a nice thought but it is also followed up with the reasoning that if the wife is not pleased she will become chaotic in public. If her need are not met she will provoke men in public and cause chaos. The man is allowed to withhold sex for the woman entirely, but there are dire consequences if the woman withholds sex from the man. 

            Male dominance is seen in the marriage also where it is fine for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman. A Muslim woman is not permitted to marry a non-Muslim man. The reasoning behind this is that the man is the enforcer in the marriage and whatever he says goes. Therefore if the man is not Muslim but the woman is, his believes will overpower hers. 

Lesser Evils: Divorce in Islamic Ethics

            A couple can remarry three times before a divorce is absolute. After the third time the wife needs to remarry before they can get back together. A man can do a triple divorce and divorce her three times all at once. This makes the divorce absolute.

            Marriage, sex, and divorce are all very male centered and not very fair the woman. We saw this during the Iranian Divorce film and in this piece. Without the use of a dowry marriage and divorce could become much better and easier for women. Without the dowry the women would also not have the guarantee of support after the marriage ends.